Hospitality in a time of Food Allergies and Disorders

Nov 21

As the holiday season approaches, many of us will share food with friends and family. We will have family over for holiday meals. We will share snacks at church events, parties, and homeschool groups. Everywhere we look we will encounter food. For many of us, food is the most delightful and joyous part of gatherings. What would December be without Christmas cookies and hot chocolate? Our culture, among others, revolves around food and eating together. We look forward to meals together at the table, find enjoyment in the anticipation of what food we will eat, and create traditions that are all centered around food. Practicing hospitality through meals and celebratory food is something observable in the scriptures. It's not an exaggeration to say that food is an essential part of human life. We are so thankful to be a part of a church that shows hospitality with consideration for those who have food allergies and disorders. But I know that many churches do not show the same consideration.

What about those people for whom food is not a celebratory moment but instead can cause feelings of fear, self-consciousness, and exclusion? How do we handle gatherings for individuals who have different food needs? Partaking in meals together is one form of hospitality that God has shown us we are to partake in together, and yet there is sin in the world that even distorts the good. But what happens when we encounter individuals who have food allergies, sensitivity, neurodivergence, food disorders, and more?

What Does The Bible Say About Eating Together?

The best place to start when asking questions about anything is to open God's Word. Today we are going to see what the scriptures say about eating together.

Genesis 18:6. Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. 3 He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord,[a] do not pass your servant by. 4 Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. 5 Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.”

One of the first instances we see of food and hospitality being offered is in Genesis. Here, Abraham is approached by strangers. His first reaction is to invite them in, give them the best food he can offer, and have a feast. Providing food for others has been ingrained in us as humans. It has been around since the beginning of time.

Matthew 14:19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.

In Matthew, we are shown the example of Jesus feeding people after he spoke. These people refused to go home, and Jesus knowing they would need food, provided that for them. The people all sat on the grass together and feasted. They gave thanks and were appreciative of the food that was provided for them. Eating together must be important since it is seen many times throughout the New Testament. (John 21:9-14, Acts 2:42, Luke 9:16)

The last scripture we are going to look at is Romans 14:1-4.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

Romans tells us that we are not to quarrel over matters such as what someone chooses to eat or not to eat. Everyone has a different conscience, different needs, and different struggles about food. We need to be careful that we do not judge people by the food we see or do not see on their plates during fellowship.

What about those with food allergies and food disorders?

We have established that eating together is good and beneficial for the body of Christ. But let us not forget that there is sin in the world, and through that sin, there are many things that make eating together difficult. There are so many people today who have severe food allergies. These individuals must avoid their food, and any cross-contamination of their food allergy or it can be life-threatening. Many of these individuals live their lives avoiding social gatherings, living in fear and constant stress about encountering their allergen. Not only are there individuals with severe food allergies, but we have many people who have special needs and have special diets. These individuals might not be able to eat certain food because it is the wrong texture, wrong brand, wrong shape, or just might make their behaviors more challenging. Taking the medical needs away, we have lots of individuals who have food disorders. They have grown up and been taught unhealthy habits related to food. This might cause them to avoid eating together, binge eating, and more. How do we as Christians show love to all these individuals who are more prevalent than we think?

Before getting into so tips, we must first turn again toward scripture. We must be reminded that food is good for everyone, BUT eating together does not bring someone closer to God. We see this in 1 Corinthians 8:8.

8 But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do. 1 Corinthians 8:8

Just because someone may choose not to partake in food, or gatherings with food, does not mean that they don’t deserve to be a part of your congregation. They are just as unworthy as all of us to be in God’s house. They are just as loved as anyone who doesn’t have any food allergies or disorders. So what are some ways we can address food allergies and disorders during hospitality?

Tips and Tricks for Food Allergies and Disorders

Ask the individual
Ask the individual if they have any food allergies or preferences. Ask them how severe they are and see if you should disinfect your kitchen and not have that allergy present, or if it can be present just not consumed by that person. Find out what foods and brands they do enjoy then spend the extra time and money on those foods.
Save the Packaging
One thing I appreciate is when an individual saves the package. I always save the packages of items I am cooking, to show the individual what it is made of. This helps alleviate their stress of just trusting someone else and instead allows them to see that you care for them and that their food allergy/disorder is no big deal.
Change Locations
Be Flexible!! There might be a time when you invite someone to your house, and instead, they need you to come to their house... Some allergies are so severe that an individual can not eat anything that is cooked in a kitchen with their allergen present. Be flexible and willing to change locations, to have fellowship together.
Be OK with NOT bringing any food
As we stated in point 3, many people are so sensitive to allergens that they keep their homes entirely free from them. Don’t be offended if you are asked to come for a meal and not to bring anything. Although this is counter-culture, it is VERY important when coming to someone else's home who has food allergies. By not bringing anything, you are showing the family that you care for them and are willing to do something counter-cultural to spend time with them.
Don’t Point Out Their Plate
Please don’t point out what a person, a child is or is NOT eating. This can be a trigger for those of us who have food disorders. It is not something to be joked about. As silly and simple as it may seem to you to point out that a person might only be eating plain chips, to them eating those chips could be a HUGE step. By pointing it out, you are embarrassing and discouraging that individual from partaking in more gatherings at the least. At the most, you are adding more shame and embarrassment to an already
Create Gatherings NOT around a meal
If creating a meal for someone with multiple allergies is not an option, create a gathering that doesn’t include a meal. Have a game night and instead of a meal provide some store-bought safe snacks. Things like chips, salsa, and popcorn are usually great for most people with allergies and food disorders. By creating an activity to focus on, people won’t be focused on their food. This will help the guests feel more comfortable and less anxious at your event.

There are many more ways that we can make people with food allergies and disorders comfortable attending events. I encourage you to take time to speak with the individual and see what would help them feel loved and accepted. There are many churches and individuals who already do a wonderful job including those with food allergies and disorders, but there are also many that do not. I have been in both situations and know the stress, fear, and aloneness the one can cause, and the love and acceptance the other causes. If you have not thought about how to reach out and love those who have food allergies and disorders within your church and community, I encourage you to do that this holiday season. Show hospitality to those who do not get shown hospitality often.

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