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Pursuing Hospitality as a Christian

Last week, we took some time to define Biblical hospitality. We looked at the Biblical definition of hospitality and how Christians should understand hospitality biblically. Today, we are going to continue our discussion by focusing on the command and opportunities we have to pursue hospitality. Our culture has perfected the consumer good of hospitality. A Western definition of hospitality is very much observable in the hotel and service industry. Hospitality can seemingly be purchased with a 5-star hotel with room service, comfortable beds, free robs and a gorgeous view. Thankfully, the Bible has much to say regarding what hospitality is in practice for the individual and wider Christian community. Let's start by looking at 1 Peter chapter 4.

8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:8-11)

Who Should Show Hospitality?

Hospitality today is often delegated as something that women do. It is often conceptualized as a noun. A thing that only certain people should do because they are good or gifted at it. That is not how the Bible speaks about hospitality. Hospitality is not a gift some of us have, it is a command for all of God’s People. Notice how Peter is speaking broadly in verse 8 about love? Then later on in verse 9 connects love to hospitality. If hospitality is NOT a command for the whole Christian community, then neither is love. That would certainly be contradictory to a whole host of Old Testament and New Testament passages. Love is commanded, and one of the manifestations of love is hospitality.

There are some of us who are gifted in hospitality and some of us have to work a little bit harder. Just because something is hard, is not a valid reason for excusing ourselves from the command. 1 Peter 4 says we are to love each other deeply. As a body of Christ we are commanded to love one another and one of those aspects of loving others is through hospitality. Showing hospitality to others is a command from God, which can be really hard for some (introverts like me). Yet, despite the difficulty, of demonstrating (embodying), offering hospitality is a central byproduct of the Christian life.

Elders are called to be exemplars of the Christian faith in their lives. The two New Testament lists that speak extensively and prescriptively regarding the qualifications for servant leadership in the body of Christ include hospitality (1 Timothy 3, Titus 1). Think about that for a moment. In lists that are primarily about moral makeup and character, hospitality is included. Morality, from the 1st-century apostolic teachings, included how a person treated an outsider. It was immoral for a Christian to neglect hospitality. This doesn’t just mean Elders are the only ones called to hospitality. This is an argument that strengthens the general command for all of God’s people. The Elder is to demonstrate and live in a manner that points others in the way of living that is Christ-honoring. All the church should follow the example of the elders in so far as they are living exemplary lives for Christ. Therefore, as Elders are living in a Christ-like way by pursuing hospitality, so too the general Christian community is to live in a morally upright way by also pursuing hospitality.

We can look at verse 9 and see that Peters tells us to “offer hospitality without grumbling.” This makes a lot of sense when we see hospitality as a command rather than a gift relegated to a designated specialist part of the Christian community. If hospitality was only for those who were good and enjoyed being hospitable, Peter wouldn’t have needed to add in this remark about not grumbling. We have many examples in our culture of what grumbling looks like when showing hospitality, one of which is Al Bundy (The father from the 80s and 90s American Sitcom). He was hardly the most hospitable TV character. You can see the grumbling about hospitality in many online gathering spaces (like Facebook groups, Twitter, Reddit) as well. People don’t want to have others into their homes, so instead they go somewhere else. They allow somewhere else, or someone else to offer the hospitality, typically a restaurant, coffee shop or institute. God has called us to live by a different ethos than the world, to offer hospitality without grumbling. 

As we continue to read Peter, we can see that we are told to use our gifts well (verse 10). Hospitality is a gift. Some of us are gifted undeniably with this gift. Yet the call to pursue hospitality is not negated by the reality that some are gifted specifically. All pure Christian hospitality originates with a motivation that comes from thankfulness in what God has given. We show love for God by extending generous charity towards others out of the abundance that God has given to us. Notice that Peter isn’t talking about physical things at the moment. He’s not talking about money, or clothing, he's talking about gifts of service towards one another (verse 11). Peter urges his audience to use whatever spiritual gifts that God has given us to serve other people through hospitality. When practicing hospitality we must do it through the strength that the Lord gives us. We can see in Heidelberg Catechism that hospitality is a good work that is done for God’s Glory. 

Heidelberg Catechism Lord’s day 33, Q & A # 91

Q 91. What are good works?

A. Only those which are done out of true faith, conform to God’s law, and are done for God’s glory; and not those based on our own opinion 

A summary sentence on who is to show hospitality: All in the Christian community are called to love and good works, and therefore all Christians are called to hospitality.

How are We to Show Hospitality?

Now that we have determined who should practice hospitality, I bet you are wondering how to practice hospitality. Practicing does not have to be something complicated. We tend to think that being hospitable requires tons of forethought, a perfect house, and an elaborate meal. When in reality, hospitality just requires us to love others even if our house is messy and we order pizza. The extravagance of Martha Stewart is not the Biblical model for hospitality. Hospitality isn’t about putting on a show or boasting about all the material goods we have. Hospitality is about demonstrating love towards others. That is a much simpler thing and a much Godlier thing.

The first step to start practicing hospitality biblically is to change your mindset. Rather than thinking of hospitality as a noun, an event, or a specific party, think of hospitality as a verb. The Apostle Paul in Romans 12:13 uses a hunting word: “pursue” hospitality. Chase hospitality down. Run after hospitality. Take aim and diligently follow hospitality. What does that look like practically? Plan a time to get out the calendar for the next month and find a date or two that you have open. Once you find a date, invite someone over. The first date can be anyone you’d like (a friend, family member, neighbor, etc.). Once you have someone confirmed for the first date, find a second date and invite someone over who you don’t know very well (Maybe someone from your church who you don’t know their life story yet, or a coworker who you get along with). Lastly, find a third date on your calendar and set that date aside to invite someone you know who is not yet a believer in Christ. Those three dates will get you started in your “hunt” for pursuing hospitality.

Secondly, spend time praying with hospitality in mind. Colossians 4:5 says “ Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.” While praying, ask that God would give you wisdom in your dealings with strangers. Seek God’s blessing on these 3 upcoming dates and times when you will be practicing hospitality. Ask that God would give you the wisdom to make the most of every opportunity. Ask that God would grow your love and thankfulness for His grace to you, and allow His grace to be on display in all 3 of the upcoming times of hospitality. Use your prayer time to ask God to show you who you should invite over next, and to grow you in trust, love, charity, and thankfulness through hospitality. 

Thirdly, you need to prepare yourself. When thinking of hospitality, make sure you have a budget set aside to spend in this area. It doesn’t need to be an elaborate budget, but by setting aside a budget you will be more likely to follow through and invite those families/individuals over. Remember, what we do with our money reveals the commitments of our hearts. If you do not budget for these times of hospitality, you are not committing to pursuing hospitality. Hospitality costs (think of the parable of the good Samaritan Luke 10:25-37. It costs the Samaritan financially to demonstrate loving hospitality to the wounded traveler). Prepare for that cost ahead of time. Not only do we need to prepare financially, but more importantly we need to prepare spiritually (that includes our mental, emotional, and relational state). You need to set aside the time it takes to love strangers. Loving other people is not always convenient. It is costly to your mental expectations, your emotional capacities, and your relational commitments. Loving others can come at times that may not be the best, but by preparing yourself for those times, you will be better prepared. An example of this is to leave a bit early for work so you are available to hold open a door or help someone unload their vehicle. Simple acts that can only be done if we build in time to “practice hospitality” in our schedule. 

Some Guard Rails

There are some precautions that we need to take when we are showing hospitality, especially to strangers. We can practice hospitality with some wisdom that does not invite folly. When hosting a stranger it is best to not go alone (When Jesus sent out the disciples He did not send them alone. He paired them up and sent them together - see Mark 6:7-13). Invite other members of the church to go with you. Make it a group time of hospitality and invite multiple families and individuals to come along. When reading scripture you can often find that Jesus ate in group settings rather than one on one or alone. (Matthew 9:11)  

When being hospitable to others we need to use means that make sense. Sometimes it is not a good idea to bring someone to your home immediately. Sometimes a restaurant, or even hosting someone in your worship location (if you have access, call your pastor or elders to check) is a better plan (Jesus met the woman at the well, and Zacchaeus in a public space). Asking questions of the individual will help you get to know them better. A stranger may not be comfortable in a Western environment being invited to your home right away! Sometimes it is better to ask if the person you are showing hospitality to has a favorite place to eat, or a park to walk. Other questions might revolve around dietary restrictions or various special circumstances. Ask things like “Where do you like to eat?” or “What do you enjoy doing” or “Do you have a favorite spot to go?”

There are a great many other practical things that could be said regarding biblical hospitality. If what we’ve discussed today regarding practicing hospitality seems overwhelming today, I encourage you dear brothers and sisters to pray earnestly about these things. Hospitality is an exercise of trust, patience, endurance, and wisdom. Seek these things from the Lord! Ask that He would abundantly supply you in your loving obedience to His call to practice hospitality.

Finally, we need to follow Godly examples. Think of the people in your life who have shown hospitality to you. Remembering those individuals will help guide you in ways that you can show hospitality to others. Many would love to be shown hospitality just like you were shown. When Amy and I were in college, we were shown wonderful hospitality by an older couple in our church. They welcomed two young adults into their home, fed us, and loved us. We had many thoughtful discussions on their couch and helped them around their farm. They taught us many things, one of which was learning how to fold a fitted sheet (we remember them fondly whenever we make a bed now). This older couple became our adopted grandparents. Our children have spent time with them and visited one while in a nursing home. Our kids know them by name and look forward to their visits, cards, and phone calls. You never know what your small token of hospitality might lead to. It might lead to being a part of redeeming family for generations to come.

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:40 NIV)

Check out our Shop to see our easy 5-step guide to Hospitality, complete with menu ideas and worksheets to make hosting a breeze!

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