Dealing with Hardship: Four Practical Lessons From the Night Jesus was Betrayed
"She cheated on me" - A young (formerly) engaged man.
"The tests came back and...they said I have cancer" - A parent of multiple teens.
"They couldn't find the heartbeat" - A mother who just lost her child.
"If my family loved me, they wouldn't have sent me here" - A war veteran moved to a nursing home.
These are all hardships I've been privileged to hear and bear with other believers. Hardship comes in many ways. There is no denying hardship exists. Regardless of your beliefs, background, or situation hardship is a present reality.
Sometimes hardship comes as an outside circumstance to us. Like an external force over which we had no control, no ability to avoid or mitigate. In these moments hardship can feel like a stampeding herd or a flash flood. You weren't aware of any warning signs, it just happened.
At other times hardship comes as a result of our own decisions or indecisions. There were warning signs, there were mitigating things we could have done. Yet for all the opportunities we had to turn this flood to a trickle, we didn't. As a result of our own actions or inactions, hardship has come and it has come with force.
For the follower of Jesus hardship comes just as it does for the nonbeliever. Yet the believer is equipped to handle hardship in a way that is distinct from the nonbeliever. The believer has a hope and a plan even in the midst of hardship. The plan in hardship for the believer is the same as the plan in peace: follow Jesus.
On the night that Jesus was betrayed, arrested, abused, and despised, how did he handle hardship? How did Jesus handle his closest friends betraying him and abandoning him? How did Jesus respond to the results of his trial? What did Jesus do knowing death was coming?
In Mark 14 we can see at least 4 lessons from 4 scenes on the night of Jesus betrayal (what we often celebrate and name as Maundy Thursday).
He celebrated a meal with his disciples (Mark 14:12-31)
He admitted hardship and prayed (Mark 14:32-42)
He rejected rebellion, and submitted to betrayal (Mark 14:43-52)
He knew the rejection he would face, and yet he went on (Mark 14:53-72)
Lesson 1: Jesus celebrated a meal with his disciples (Mark 14:12-31)
In the midst of his hardest moment, Jesus got together with those whom he loved. When we experience hardship we are often tempted to run away, escape, or hide. The new reality that has come upon us in hardship triggers a "flight or fight" instinct and for many of us "flight" seems to be the best way out. We stop attending gatherings, we no long invite others into our lives. We seclude ourselves from those whom we hold dear. We may be afraid of being vulnerable. I've often sat with those weeping in hardship and phrases are said like "I wish you didn't have to see me like this" or "I can't see so-and-so, I can't bear for them to see me like this". While there are times to be alone, there is a horrible loneliness that can come accompanying hardship. Like the great comedy duo of Abbot and Costello, hardship and loneliness try their best to stick together feeding off of one another.
On the night Jesus was betrayed he had a meal with his disciples. He didn't tell everyone to leave him alone. He did what he would do absent of the hardship, he celebrated a meal among his dearest earthly companions even knowing they would be a part of the hardship to come! When hardship comes, we too ought to gather together and be mindful of how loneliness will try to creep alongside hardship. The temptation to withdraw from fellowship with believers comes as quietly as a whisper, but does as much (and sometimes more harm) than the hardship itself.
When hardship comes, believers are not to forsake gathering together. We are to gather together (Hebrews 10:25), pray for one another and the world around us (1 Timothy 2:1-3), share one another's burdens (Galatians 6:1-5), provide for one another (1 John 3:16-18), anoint and lay hands on the sick (James 5:13-15), repent of our sins (1 John 2:1-2). When hardship comes, do not remove yourself from the community of fellow followers of Jesus. Jesus didn't remove himself from his disciples on the night of his hardship, neither should we. When hardship comes, gather together with other believers.
Lesson 2: Jesus admitted hardship and prayed (Mark 14:32-42)
As Jesus experienced his night of hardship he admitted the difficult hardship he was experiencing, and he gave his time and energy to prayer. There are two pitfalls I've witnessed (and experienced) when admitting hardship. The one pitfall is to become absorbed by the hardship. The other pitfall is the belittle the hardship. Jesus did neither of these things on the night he was betrayed.
When a person is absorbed by hardship it becomes the focal point of all our existence. All conversation flows from the heart (Luke 6:45). For the absorbed person in hardship their words are totally occupied with the present hardship. This looks like someone who continually turns a conversation back towards their hardship and is unable to show any interest in others. Jesus didn't give in to the temptation to make the present hardship all about him. Jesus kept the big picture of God's will in mind while experiencing his night of agony praying "
Yet not what I will, but what you will
" (Mark 14:35-36 NIV).
As a person attempts to belittle hardship, comparison is often a favorite tool. Phrases like "Well it's not as bad as what's going on with so-and-so" or "I can't let myself get too down, this isn't as bad as what so-and-so is dealing with" are used by the person attempting to belittle hardship. On the night Jesus was betrayed he admitted the difficulty he was experiencing and took his concern and his conversation to God in prayer (Mark 14:35-36). Belittling hardship really isn't admitting to the reality of hardship. It's an attempt to deny and avoid the hardship. I have never known someone to earnestly pray for something they thought wasn't a big deal. When we pretend as though hardship isn't a big deal, it absolutely impacts our prayers regarding that hardship. Christ didn't downplay his hardship, he took the hardship seriously and then he took it to God in devoted, earnest prayer (Mark 14:34).
Lesson 3: Jesus rejected rebellion, and submitted to betrayal (Mark 14:43-52)
When the hour of his betrayal came, Jesus carried himself with determination. This was not a determination to avoid or belittle the coming hardship. This was a determination to go through the hardship in complete submission to God. Jesus' determination was foreshadowed in the book of Job. Job was a man who experienced as many horrible earthly hardships as any of us could possibly imagine. He lost his children (Job 1:18-19), his financial provisions (Job 1:13-17), his wife was ready for him to die (Job 2:9), and his physical body suffered great pains (Job 2:7-8). Yet in the midst of all this hardship Job bookends his experience with two great sayings. The first comes after the tragic news of his property and children:
Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:21 NIV)
And the second comes after many conversations with friends, and many searching questions posed to the Almighty:
2 “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 3 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. (Job 42:2–3 NIV)
Job didn't reject the hardship that came. He didn't respond in rebellion. He submitted to the Lord's will in all things, good and evil which came to him. Jesus on the night he was betrayed rebuked his disciple who struck with a sword at the arresting authorities (Mark 14:46-49). Jesus openly rejected a plan to escape this hardship. Jesus submitted to the betrayal of close friends and accompanying hardship (Psalm 41:9). Hardship for Jesus on this night wasn't the absence of God's will in his life, the hardship itself was the very present reality of God's will at work (Psalm 89:38-46).
Often when I pray privately, lead prayer in churches, or am beside the hospital bed of a sick believer, I pray something like "Lord will you provide healing for our brother/sister, but we don't always understand your ways. If healing is not your will, then please provide the strength and courage in your Spirit for this brother/sister to continue to grow in faith and trust in you in the midst of this very present trial". We ought to pray and then live in such a way that we submit to God's will, trusting that his ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8) and that his ways are best (Psalm 25:10 & Romans 9:21). We may not ever know why or understand in this life the hardship we presently experience. Yet, we as believers do trust that God is at work, even in the most overwhelming of challenges for the good of his people (Romans 8:28). Jesus prayed this way, and lived this way as he rejected rebellion and submitted to betrayal.
Lesson 4: Jesus knew the rejection he would face, and yet he went on (Mark 14:66-72)
We're told in Mark often that Jesus prophetically knew what was coming, yet he went on. Jesus knew that Judas would betray him, Jesus knew he would be despised and rejected, Jesus knew Peter would deny any affiliation, Jesus knew his Father's wrath was coming on the cross, and yet what did Jesus do knowing all this hardship that was before him; he went on.
After we've gathered with others, after we've admitted the difficulty of hardship, prayed earnestly, and then rejected rebellion against God's will, there is still the business of doing what needs to be done. In Peter Jackson's movie adaptation of J.R.R Tolkien's "Fellowship of the Ring" a character named Bilbo ultimately decides (after a hard conversation) to give up something that has been very dear to him, a little golden ring. He resolutely decides to leave the ring behind for someone else to look after, and then he turns to leave the room. His wise and loving friend Gandalf reminds him as he is about to leave "the ring is still in your pocket". He had resolved to do what needed to be done, but then he needed to follow through. He mentally and emotionally had decided to leave the ring, but he still needed to physically drop the ring and leave it behind.
Bilbo looking at "his" ring for the last time.
Jesus was rejected by his closest of friends Peter (Mark 14:66-72), by his national religious leaders (Mark 14:53-65), and would take upon himself the penalty of sin causing him to be rejected by his God and Father (Isaiah 53:5-10 & Mark 15:34). Knowing all this to come, what did Jesus do? He followed through. He went forward. He trusted that even in the hardship God's will was best.
On the night Jesus was betrayed he gathered with his disciples, spoke truthfully about the hardship he was facing, earnestly prayed seeking God's will, rejected rebellion, and he followed through pursuing God's will.
Hardship is no doubt a part of your story in your life. If you trust this Jesus for your present and eternal life then you can have confidence that he has paved a path for you even in the midst of hardship. He has walked roads of dark loneliness, and spoken truth in the midst of a host of liars. He has endured suffering, and persisted in seeking God's glory. Since he himself has been through hardship, we too can lean on him, look to him, and learn from him as we experience hardship.